Here, have a link

I can't help it. I just love these people over at Sweet Juniper.

A paper free course: wood vs. should

Each Teacher Trainer program here runs for about 5 months: 4 months of intensive class work and 1 month of overseas training. So far I've taught Methodology, EFL, Pronunciation and Technology/Multimedia. The last two (Pronunciation and Technology) are really my babies and I'm proud to say that I've created and taught these courses from scratch. I was given very basic instructions: "please design Technology and Pronunciation courses for 30 students for 4 months". So I did, and I enjoyed it. I'm pretty sure that 'classroom management' is not my forte, but I have never felt anything but pleased with the courses I've made. Not everyone feels the same way though!Since I try to have paper free semesters (self-explanatory) most of the course work (syllabus, lesson plans/materials, etc) are created and kept online. This is not as hard as it might seem at first, especially here in Korea/at SNU where almost every classroom is armed with modern gadgetry and every student has access to one or more computers. It does however make some of the trainees suspicious because they see a lack of paper as a lack of organisation or, and I quote, a "good classroom attitude". "Where is the course outline and book?" I get asked. When I show them - on the class blog/website/homepage - they look annoyed. "What NO handout?", "this is only on the computer?", "Oh, you must have a 'casual' teaching style"!!" And so on. I feel bad about the reception my tree-hugging behavior gets but not bad enough to change my policy. I also don't think that teaching without paper is a casual thing to do. It requires a lot of planning, after-class work and organisation. In fact, one of my dirty little realisations about paper-free teaching is that it saves on trees but not necessarily on (my) teacher time because I spend so much out-of-class time uploading and cutting and pasting and organising blogs and web content. But anyway, it is possible and a combination of blogs, wikis, Scribd, Audacity and a dozen or so computers with headsets is really all it takes to teach without using our woody friends - and of course it circumvents the need for repeated tales of how someone lost or didn't get or couldn't remember the syllabus/materials/assignments. It puts much of the responsibility back into the hands of learners. With the exception of occassional projects that require photocopying and printing I stick to my guns and try not to use extra paper in my classes. So even though I'm sort of resented for it I do it anyway (surprise surprise), and there is even a part of me that loves trying to convince the trainees that technology really is important, and, unlike, say, annoying mosquitoes or the weird foreigners who have been suddenly thrust upon their school districts, "technology" isn't going anywhere when the school year is finished. Their classrooms, their lives and their young students' lives are just going to become more and more reliant on technology as times goes on. I think part of the reason I reacted so strongly to being, uh, "non-renewed" is because I put so much time and energy and passion into what I do. I spend hundreds of hours in front of the computer every session, making (what I feel are) relevant and interesting lessons - but I've consistently encountered a small but very vocal minority of students who resent being asked to do things on a computer; they still feel that learning English is about speaking and listening exercises - maybe with some extra stuff (like pronunciation or essay writing) - tossed in as an accessory. Progressive thinking, to these students, means grudgingly admitting the disadvantages of the grammar translation method but does not include using a computer for English unless it is for occasional "fun" activities. No matter how much lip service they give CALL and communicative language learning and learner-centered teaching - some of them will always remain stubbornly rooted in their old-fashioned ways and will continue to beat their kids into rote learning because it has seductively high (although short-lived) academic results.

I want to say again that these students are in the minority (you know what they say about squeaky wheels though) but I've often felt that I'm just expected to be a cheerleader as opposed to an instructor or a coach. Or, more honestly, I often feel that that the more I actually know and try to teach them the more they resent and complain about me. I have to constantly (constantly, constantly, constantly) defend and justify my choices of materials and classroom activities. This is tiring, and somewhat ridiculous because, believe me, my lessons are solid but not exactly revolutionary.

Still, to end on a positive note, a lot of the trainees are hard-working and receptive and occasionally offer their support for my lessons/teaching style. The other day we were working in the lab and one of my quietest and most reticent students, after finding an interesting video on Teacher Tube, embedded the file in her personal webpage and asked if she could share it with the class. I told her that she could and as she came to the front of the class she gave me a look of such conspiratorial satisfaction that I was startled - and a bit worried. She shyly opened her web page then said something like: "look, this video has many of the same programs and activities that Melissa talks about. Let's watch it together". And then beamed proudly at me for the duration. Her small act of solidarity, clearly stating her alliance, was so sweet that it brought tears to my freshly non-renewed eyes, and still makes my insides go "awwwww" when I think of it. She's a shy woman and her act of bravery was a big deal. Not just because she was 'siding' with me but because she was doing something that (I think) most Korean learners need more experience with: thinking and expressing as individuals, being creative and using that creativity in a focused (and sourced!) way.

So here's the video file. It's a bit long, borders on madulin in parts and might have been secretly sponsored by iPod or Microsoft - but it's worth the watch anyway. Sniff sniff. Dab dab. Enjoy!

MP3: Little Boots - stuck on repeat (fake blood remix) (MySpace)
MP3: Hot Chip - just like we break down (DFA remix) (Video "over and over")
MP3: XTC - are you receiving me?(Wikipedia)

Tweets of fate

When I was doing my undergraduate degree I joined our campus newspaper and wrote some (what I know now were) very crappy music/book reviews. I didn't know it at the time but my 3 year stint at the Muse would give me, not only the world's largest collection of free CDS and books, but also a dozen or so incredibly significant friendships and relationships. Between 1994 and 1997 I met some of the nicest and most intelligent and interesting people ever. These are people I still talk to often, think about often, make plans to visit and love to spend time with. I would, without hesitation, give most of them a part of my body*, entrust my daughter into their care or answer immediately: "yes", if we ever found ourselves positioned at the helm of a sinking boat and someone asked: "do you trust me?" ...

It was a cool place - full of Gen X nonchalance and sarcasm, army boots, big words, bullshit and some real genius - but I think there was also an atmosphere of gruff camaraderie that overshadowed the administrative necessity of what we had to do: publish 10,000 copies of newspaper every week. I say "we" but actually I didn't do anything except lurk around the office writing 200 word music reviews. Still, I did end up in the production room a few times (the paper had to be finished -- or "put to bed"-- and sent to the printers by Thursday morning so Wednesday night was always an all-nighter filled with intense printing/copying/editing/cutting/pasting) and it was there that my now-friend-then-Production-God Dups handed me an exacto knife for the first time and let me cut the paper to be glued to the final flats. As I lustily grabbed the knife he looked alarmed and said:

Be careful! Don't cut yourself!!

but before I could feel flattered at the attention, he followed with,

"if you bleed on the flats it'll come out on the print! We don't want bloodstains on the paper!!"

And then I didn't talk to him for about 2 years. But I've mentioned him before on this blog and now here I go again, so obviously I forgave him - eventually. Dups is an amazing guy. He's endlessly creative, energetic, imaginative and talented. He's funny, he's nice and he's smart. He can talk with equal ease about computers or Shaft, drunk dialing for St. Patrick's Day or politics in Sri Lanka. He's equally as comfortable climbing a mountain or drinking a pint on a patio. Anyway, he's just about perfect and I don't mind saying so because I know it embarrasses him!

I'm telling you all this because Dups has a Twitter project that he's putting together and I think it's one of his most ambitious and interesting - and sweetest - creations yet. I can hardly believe it comes from the man who just 13 years ago was willing to watch me bleed to death as long as it didn't touch his paper. Heh.

(That's the cheek that got me non-renewed).

Anyway, it really deserves to be explained in his own words so I'll stop talking now give you Dups' own explanation of his "Tweet Rhapsody". But please, join in! Join Twitter! Read on! Tweet tweet?
...


The Tweet Rhapsody is a fictional love story told in and through Twitter. It is a conversation between six people spread across the world in Colombo, Sri Lanka and Montreal, Quebec, Canada. Told in twelve chapters between June 22, 2009 and September 11, 2009 it is primarily a love story between the two main characters Raj and Sophie, but it is also a story about the clash of cultures, politics and families.

Following the Tweet Rhapsody

Since this is a Twitter'd story, you can follow it as each character "tweet's" their conversation by searching for #tweetrhapsody on twitter.com. You can add/follow each of the characters, you can even interact with the characters/story. Whether your comments will be reflected in the main story is something you will have to keep coming back to find out!

The story is divided into chapters (i.e. a week) and "Tweetisodes" (i.e. a day). Simply navigate to the table of contents and start reading. The Tweet Rhapsody Blog will announce when each Tweetisode/Chapter has been fully posted on this site and presumably on Twitter if you can follow @tweetrhapsody, you can subscribe to the RSS Feed of the blog to keep up to date on the story.

Why? Who? What?

The Tweet Rhapsody is by Duleepa Wijayawardhana, a Canadian of Sri Lankan heritage living in Montreal Quebec. This is as much a story about love, cultures, politics and family as it is about Twitter. It is a conversation in which I hope you will join.

---

* but not my liver.

Cute reads

Belated: a great parenting (Father's Day) post from Metro Dad. It made me smile. Parents? Future fathers? Single dads? Moms? Anyone with a smirk left inside? Check it out.

Breakdown. The Mental Kind.

Nah, not really a breakdown. I'm doing OK, considering what's been going on. I'm so good at moving forward and not not looking back that sometimes I even make myself suspicious. I have been thinking a lot about my situation though - losing my job, having to find a new one, what kind of work I want to do (for the Honour of Grayskull - NOT teacher training) and I have gone though what must be the 4 Stages of Contract Non-Renewal: disbelief, shame, anger, acceptance. I think in my last blog I was lost somewhere between shame and anger. I've since moved on and have a clearer understanding of what's been happening but it has been a week of painful discussions, minor temper tantrums, Hot Tears* and a lot of serious thinking. I mentioned much of this in my last post (and thanks for the comments) but let me say that I finally understand why I was let go. I don't think it was good of them, I think they waited waaaaay too long to let me know - and I have like 200 angry posts up my still-employed sleeve about the sketchy shit that has gone down - but I do understand why they chose to boot me off the island.

1) Money. Because I'm still working at the fine institution of learning wot is SNU, and because I now know that "people" read my blog, I'm not sure how much I can say before men with thumbscrews come to take me away, but the official and non-secret news is that there is much less money than previously thought. And since I'm getting canned there is no reason for me not to say now that I cost the department about 7,000-9,000 extra dollars a year, plus a 2 bedroom apartment on campus (extra here means more than my workmates). I didn't think that a number like that would matter too much but then a friend reminded me that just a few weeks ago when I needed my photocopying done that I was told I had to pay 20,000 won (about 20 dollars) of the copying price myself and that the school would then pay the rest. Yes, brokesville. And so the wheels turn.

2) Personality. I mentioned this in my last post and although I may have exaggerated my own stridency, I did not exaggerate the positive qualities of my workmates. They really are awesome and I'm half in love with them - just like everyone else who meets them. Good looking, funny, smart and kind; they're the kind of cheery people who will clap you on the back or reach out to squeeze your arm if you're having a bad day. They all have nice handwriting and are always doing nice things like bringing in crumpets and tea buns and remembering people's birthdays and leaving inspirational quotes on the board. They do not roll their eyes when the trainees complain about being tired or overworked. They do not snort cynically (or start reciting Princess Bride) when someone says "true love". They are patient. They are earnest. They eat together in the cafeteria. I could go on - but I'm sure you get the point. I do think that I know more about TESOL, technology in teaching, and about curriculum development ... but I have to admit that I'm just not as nice or as friendly. Or as professional.
3) Business as usual. This was the hardest for me to understand but it really pulls #1 and #2 together and has carried me through to the "acceptance" stage. I've been suffering from what must be the Forest Gump of business logic: I thought that a smart enterprise would always keep the hardest workers, best workers or most experienced workers - but that isn't really the case, is it? I've been thinking about how the money and the personality issues work together. If the primary goal of, say, a brand new Teacher Trainer program is to (a) attract trainees through appealing or relevant courses (b) make those trainees happy (c) create a good reputation in order to keep getting more trainees (and eventually more money), then it makes sense to hire someone who can, oh, say, design a 5 month-long Technology or Pronunciation course and then, if the money dries up, to let that more expensive (and admittedly truculent) teacher go and keep reusing the materials that everyone else (the nicer people) are now familiar with. Once I helped take care of (a) then the other two goals: (b) and (c) are more likely to be met by enthusiastic and smart (and cheaper) Team Players. It's depressingly bad news for me. But logical. I guess.

So there you have it. Someday after I finish work I'll do up a proper bitchy rant about all the snupid shit I have stored and it will be entertaining, I promise. But for now, I have 3 weeks of work left, a new job to find and - honestly - I'm OK. I will not be bitter, and life will be better. I'll stop talking about it now. Have some songs:

MP3: Big Daddy - fixing a hole (Wikipedia)
MP3: Tarheel Slim and Little Ann - gonna reap (Video)
MP3: Headless Heros - true love will find you in the end (MySpace)

*Should be the name of a 80's cover band, yeah?

Oh me nerves ...

This was forwarded to me by an old friend from Newfoundland, and I really, really laughed. It was so good that I had to share some of it. If you aren't from Newfoundland, have never talked to anyone with a Newfoundland "accent" (really a dialect) or have never heard one, then this might not be funny (?) ... but give it a try anyway. I've been missing home lately and Newfoundland English, which used to cause me some mild embarrsssment, now just makes me happy. Enjoy!

Newfie medical dictionary

Barium........................ What doctors do when patients die
Benign......................... What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section........ A neighborhood in Rome
Cauterize....................... Made eye contact with her
Colic........................... A sheep dog
Coma............................A punctuation mark
Dilate.......................... To live long
Enema........................... Not a friend
Fester.......................... Quicker than someone else
Impotent........................ Distinguished, well known
Morbid......................... A higher offer
Nitrates........................ Cheaper than day rates
Node............................. I knew it
Rectum.......................... Damned near killed him
Secretion...................... Hiding something
Seizure........................ Roman emperor
Tumor......................... One plus one more
Urine.......................... Opposite of you're out

Proxy Server Wars - Link

I've just finished reading "The Proxy Fight for Iranian Democracy" and thought it was interesting and informative. I've been coming across lots of references in the news to "proxy server wars" and Freegate (Chinese software that allows people from certain places to view restricted or prohibited web content) but I haven't really understood it fully, or maybe just needed visuals to go along with what I did know. Check it out.

I came upon this link via Twitter, from the owner of this wonderful blog. HT.

How I lost my job. The convoluted version.

I come from a family of nice, interesting doers. Marathon runners, speed walkers, ocean kayakers, scuba divers, artists, healers and fixers, wine makers, knitters and amateur carpenters. Lovers of stray kittens and defenders of "to each his own" and "it takes all sorts, dear". And interestingly, unlike much of the North American population (in my opinion), my family members just get better and nicer and more agreeable as they age. Unfortunately, I seem to have missed out on whatever specific genetic coding allows them to play nicely with others while still maintaining an appealing eccentricity - I seem to become less tolerant and amiable as I age. My father used to joke that he and my mom just found me "by the well" and I sometimes I wonder if this might be true.

If I had to describe the aspect of my personality that I hate the most I would say it is this: I'm too critical and intractable yet at the same time too sensitive and easily wounded. I'm prone to righteous ranting and indignation if things don't go according to plan and schedule. But then I cry if people hate me (or fire me) for rocking the boat. I believe that really strong people are usually just one or the other (unyielding OR really nice) - or, like my kinfolk, have managed to reconcile the different parts of themselves. I can never make up my mind and I hate myself for it. I want to be *just* a passionate asshole who says what's on her mind or a really nice person who wants everyone to get along. I hate noise and fighting but I refuse to shut my trap when I think something is wrong. And I think this deficiency might serve as a good lens through which I can tell the rest of this story: I am not a very good team player. I find fault in others and if I think these faults are a) avoidable/fixable b) interfering with the vital/innocent interests of others* and, importantly c) if the person responsible is old/big enough to be self-aware then d) I call them on it. It is not a perfect system - clearly - since this post is about how I came to 'lose' my job and how I am now hitting my head on the table in disgust - but it has in the past had its advantages: I get paid on time(ish), my students don't plagiarize too much, administrations 'remember' to pay out severance, etc. However, my complaining, and pushing, and nagging and demanding has finally outweighed the advantages of my experience and education and my good intentions. If I could bore you with credentials for a moment (in the interest of perspective) I've been teaching in Korea longer than any of my workmates (probably combined) I've studied for a couple of years longer - and I know what I'm talking about when I talk shop. I'm still in my (early) 30's and I work very hard. I do not smoke in the ladies room, I wear deodorant and I do not invite strange men with unpronounceable names and exotic moustaches to meet me for lunch**.

Yet the EFL Team at "Seoul National University's Department of Engrish Education In-Service Teacher Training Program"*** used to be 4 people but now it is only 3. We knew it was coming since they told us months ago that something like 80-freaking-% of the budget was paying our salaries**** but because I'm an arrogant snot I didn't really think they would fire***** ME. I was worried about the upcoming cuts - but not seriously worried. I'm a good teacher! So what if administration hated me! I was experienced! I work so hard! I love my daughter! I care about my students! Separate Church from State! Yay, Kimchi!! Heh. I got cut. They tell me that my work is very good, that my courses are very good, that they "appreciate"****** all the things I've done - but that someone had to go and they (a mysterious committee comprised of several people I have never met and a woman I fought with and who hates me so much that she turns her head away when we pass in the hallways) have decided that "kind spirit" and "being a team player" and having "a good attitude" is more important than a) education b) experience c) quality of work. "It's a very small program", I was told, and it "matters how well the staff and instructors get on". Teaching is only a "small part" of what we do here. Sigh.

And so I'm out a job. I leave armed with kind recommendations and references and "best wishes" and tut-tuts about the "uncontrollable financial crisis" and so on - but still, I'm out a job and I know why. Because I couldn't keep my mouth shut about what I saw as shitty treatment, late pay, unfair circumstances and inappropriate behaviour. And, true to form, now I hate myself. So, I have one month to find a new job, pack up my apartment, find a new daycare for Hayden and head to Canada for the summer in order to demand answers from my mother:

Was I really found by an artisan well?? How can I be a nice person and still stand up for myself? And importantly: is my bedroom *really* always available??

Stay tuned!

* I am not interested in defining "vital" interests. Yes, I know what a slippery slope is.
** I wish.
*** The title was too long anyway. I hated trying to say it all without gasping.
**** And even then it was difficult for them to pay us. I guess - since I haven't been paid for last month's work yet.
***** They CRINGE every time I say "fired". They prefer to say "non-renewed due to uncontrollable financial reasons".
****** As in, we will keep all these materials and websites and re-use them after you are gone.

(See what I mean? I'm full of despair about losing my job but I STILL can't help being cheeky!)

MP3: Felice Brothers - penn station (Webpage)
MP3: Shoeb Ahmad - headlights in my eyes (MySpace)
MP3: A. A Bondy - devil's loose (MySpace)
MP3: Roaring Lion - i wouldn't work (wikipedia)