what big cheeks

when i learned i was having a baby i started making a little wish list. not a shopping wish list - but a kind of pregnancy/baby wish list. you know, of the direction that i hoped my labour and delivery would take (fast) and a couple of ... well ... characteristics that i hoped the baby would have (good sleeping hygiene, for example). i guess you could call my personal version of the birth plan.

now, before anyone out there reminds me of the beauty of diversity and unconditional love, let me say that my list-making was rather half-hearted and, honestly, did not contain a single iota of serious desire. i'm just a neurotic compiler. still, the fact remains that i did make a list - and funnily enough everything i wished for came true. and then some. my wishes went something like this:

1. a fast labour and delivery*
2. a healthy baby/ a good eater
3. a baby with a bit of hair
4. a baby who enjoys moving & walking
5. a baby who likes to sleep

and that was it! nothing fancy in there, you'll notice. but you know what they say: be careful what you wish for. be careful - because you just might get it. i was reminded of this useful cliche today as Hayden, in all her corpulent 11 pound glory, snoozed (and snoozed and snoozed) in my arms with her tiny mouth super-glued to my right breast. and for the entire time she was marathon supping/napping i was doing The Pitiful Lurch (a pale imitation of the waltz) around our apartment because my daughter, blessed by gods indeed, enjoys movement so much that she has to be in motion, even for her feasting and sleeping. ah, she's perfect!

oh, and the hair. you'll notice #3 was a request for a bit of hair. silly, really, but i just think babies with a bit of hair on their heads look cuter than their more pilgarlic look-alikes. and so, of course - the joke's on me - because Hayden was born with fur (oops, i mean lanugo) almost EVERYWHERE. even on her ears and her back! and it's dark! and she also has eyebrows! and unbelievably long eyelashes! and leg hair! mr. lee and i have been nervously making jokes about waxing her before she starts kindergarten.

i guess i should have been more specific in my list-making.

all jokes aside tho, Hayden is doing remarkably well and is thriving happily here in our little apartment. we have a 'Fusion Baby' (as we like to call her) so we're trying to expose her to both korean and canadian traditions. thus: she's been outside twice in her stroller and has slept through both outings - and did not succumb to the myriad of mystery illness that most koreans believe are waiting to attack infants who venture outside before 60 days of age. also, she sleeps in our bedroom with the fan on and has not succumbed to fan death.

and, of course, she is very good-humoured about the 'big-eye syndrome'. for those of you not in korea, big-eye syndrome is a phenomenon wherein koreans of all ages and backgrounds accost non-korean looking babies, yell at or maul them until they open their eyes - and then proceed to exclaim: 'ohhhhhh, yeapuudah! big eyes! jinjja big eyes! oooooo!!"

Hayden, as you can see from the photo, loves this attention and enjoys showing her big brown eyes. i'm happy she doesn't care and i hope she keeps this attitude for a long time. korea will be a much happier place for our little Fusion Baby if she just keeps on smiling, sleeping, eating and moving.

as long as she finds a way to get rid of all that unnecessary hair ...

and finally, here's another song that Fusion Baby has expressed a fondness for. Luckily enough, it's also one of my old favourites. sung in welsh, here's a very pretty 'lullaby to the stars' by the now-defunct Gorky's Zygotic Mynci.

Gorky's Zygotic Mynci - sbia ar y seren

*well, the joke was really on me there, wasn't it?

word out ...

half-assed at 50 % ...

i never thought i could be so happy with a bunch of incomplete stuff around me. as i type this i am only half-clad (i lost my shirt during Hayden's last feeding), my hair is half out of its ponytail and there are two packages of diapers - for which i have yet to find storage space - on the floor next to me. i swept and vacuumed today but, i gleefully admit, did not clean under the bamboo mats. i washed my hair - but i did it very quickly and without conditioner - and i ate sourdough bread with apricots and yoghurt for supper because i didn't feel like cooking and washing up afterwards. and i'm not the only one feeling half-assed these days. the photo on the left shows very clearly what my better half and his best friend and Hayden were doing all afternoon. mr. lee and i both have the next few months off, work-free, so we have the liberty of choosing to be slackers in any sort of fashion we choose. life is good ...

i can make these confessions of sloth and ineptitude because i feel no shame whatsoever! i LOVE it! my previously pristine apartment is now what i would describe as 'Almost Tidy' and, for the first time in ages (pun!) i'm not not overly concerned with the silver streaks in my hair, the size of my thighs or the wrinkles (or are they laugh lines?) around my eyes.

i'm not overly concerned because ...

(drum roll)

i've got more important things to worry about! i'm a MOM and i have a wee PERSON to tend to! and she's wonderful! wonderful in such a powerful way that my breath catches everytime i look at her. this is what Hayden has learned to do this week:

1. hold up her neck for more than 2 seconds at a time
2. locate and suck her fingers
3. focus on faces and follow movement with her eyes
4. cry and flail her arms whenever she wants something NOW
and
5. she learned how to make me cry by refusing to breastfeed even though she was hungry and wanted to eat NOW (see #4 above)

so, the things that used to seem vitally important to me are just not so important anymore. maybe this change in priorities seems like an obvious development to everyone else out there but, well, it's been a real 'Helen-Keller-hand-under-the-water-faucet' kind of awakening for me. i thought that the arrival of a baby would mean making sacrifices that i felt were sacrifices. i thought i would have to maintain a stiff upper lip and a brave front while stoically declining social invitations and gamely letting the dust bunnies build up around me. i knew i would be making lifestyle changes because they were necessary - but what i didn't expect was to enjoy making them.

what a nice surprise. and why didn't anyone tell me?!

it's been an awesome and ferocious month and i suspect the next few months will be equally as dizzying. and as bittersweet. i love korea but i find myself really missing canada these days - and wishing i had my family and friends around to share all this with. thank goodness for blogging.

and music! thank goodness for music! here's a song that Hayden has taken a liking to:

Yiruma - do you

and! we still haven't managed to turn our little girl into a legally recognized dual citizen - but we're working on it. i'll tell you more more about that in my next post which i've already tentatively titled:

my, what big eyes you have ...

i know, i know. tantalizing, isn't it?

from the mouths of babes

i was trying to send my friend jennifer a text message the other day and somehow in my semi-addled state, i managed to type "hex, darkling ..." instead of "hey, darling ...". it was kinda funny so i left it that way. jennifer thought it was cute, and now it's become something of a joke between us. i get to be a "yummy mommy' and she gets to be "hex darkling!". we're even thinking of getting t-shirts made.

anyway, this single act of hilarity/randomosity turned into a competition to find the Best of the Best in english mistakes and linguistic blunders - neither of which are ever in short supply for EFL teachers in korea. i can't very well use student errors on my blogspace though (not without painting a dismal picture of my own teaching abilities) but i CAN go one step closer to home and give you verbal blips and slips from my own darling husband. so, with his extremely good-humoured permission:

5 Postpartum Blues Busters

5. "I'm gunna patronize the baby bottles now, ok?" patronize: to sterilize
4. "Be sure to buy a new bachelor for the kitchen!" bachelor: spatula
3. "I think i need a new attention cord." attention cord: extension cord
2. "I can get these ostracized at City Hall, can't i?" ostracized: notarized

and his funniest english 'mistake' ever took place just a few days ago. mr. lee and i had a wee bit of a spat and after the smoke cleared i figured that i should be the first to apologize (i just hate lingering tension!) so i said:

1. "Ok, i admit it. i was wrong. and i'm sorry." and then i waited for his apology. and when no apology was forthcoming, i said "aren't you forgetting something!?"

his only response was to give me a *genuinely* blank stare. obviously he needed some help. so i pressed on: "shouldn't you say something nice to me? something to make me feel better?"

still nothing, but he was starting to look nervous.

so i helped some more: "it's a small english word. it starts with an "S" and ends with a "Y"?! hmmm?

finally i got a reaction. "oh!", he said "i know it! honey - you're SEXY!".

sheesh. i almost wet my knickers i laughed so hard. and i never did get my 'sorry', but i figure the laugh was worth more in the long run. Mr. Lee is a funny man, and he doesn't even know it. so. in honour of my partner in conjugal bliss i give you this gem from the teenaged Bobettes, circa 1957. The Bobettes - mr. lee.

and for those of you waiting for an update on the furry fajita herself, i can tell you that she sleeps alot in the night, she eats alot in the daytime and she loves snoozing on her father's chest. and mine will also do in a pinch, apparently. she'll stay there for hours, in fact, and will wake up and mewl like an old man if we try to move her. she likes bathtime, she likes having her belly rubbed, she likes my singing voice (poor child) but she does not like being alone, does not having her nails cut and also, does not like my left breast. i have no explanation for the latter - but i know it's true.

anyway, she's adorable beyond belief and dong jin and i are both madly in love with her. check back next week for more photos, more music - and quite possibly more bureaucratic drama. we're off to our respective embassies and government offices in a few days to try to procure both canadian and korean citizenship for our little baby. yikes! wish us luck ...

the world's most perfectest baby

well.

(that hurt a bit:)

so, labor and delivery may have only been a zippy 2 hours but it's taken me many more than that to feel like myself again. actually, it's been 11 days and i'm only now starting to feel like my head isn't filled with helium balloons and pointy rocks. it's been a beautiful 11 days tho.

apologies to those of you who have been waiting for photos, wondering where i was, wondering if i died (but really, how morbid!) or just waiting for a post. anyway, i'm back and so far i can say these things for sure:

parenthood is wonderful. i highly recommend it.
mr. lee is the world's best father.
Hayden Violet is the world's best baby.
korean aftercare clinics are awesome.
life will never be the same.
seaweed soup is yummy.

and did i mention that my daughter is the best baby in the world? not only did she show up exactly on time - but she gave me very little hassle being born, she barely cries, she nurses well and when i pick her up she makes happy little moaning sounds and cuddles! she's adorable! i hate to be away from her and, actually, i'm going to end this post right here and go snuggle in bed with her. i'll be back in a few days though with more baby talk and more photos and more music - and more happiness. all 'round ...