marked and branded

The famous [to Koreans] Seoul Chonggyechon stream, which was buried under concrete for about 60 years, was recently restored amid much fanfare and hoopla and pixie dust and media attention. Now the concrete is all gone and the stream bubbles and flows and gurgles, as streams should. There are some nice little stepping stones to walk on and the city has even hosted some neat events there, the most recent of which was the 1st Chonggyechon Art Festival, called "The Flight of the Ugly Duck". All very sweet and good.

But apparently, when the Good Leaders of Seoul City decided that they wanted "a brand-name artist to create a distinguished work to adorn its newly restored Chonggyechon stream" they were not talking about a Korean brand-name artist. Non, non. They hired pop-art icon Claes Oldenburg of the U.S.A to produce them a scupture and this is what he created. A gaint snail. And the whole production cost about 3.4 million dollars.

Here's my favourite quote from the story, and a link to the rest of it:

There are those who don't recognize a marsh snail when they see one. "It looks like an ice cream", said Taru Salminen, an employee at the Embassy of Finland in Seoul. When the project was explained, she reconsidered. "Oh, it could also be a shell, now that you mention it"

Hm. Personally, I dont fancy the blue and red spiral snail but if you ask HDIGH - salt of the earth in all her glory - she would tell you that I think people should always, always leave slugs and snails in peace. And in honour all things slippery, I give you 2 pretty songs about nature.

Panic - 달팽이 (snail)
Grandaddy - nature anthem..

Have a great week!

bite the hand that feeds....

Well. Koreans eat dog, and now their phones do too. According to Samsung SDI, Korea's largest rechargeable battery manufacturer, a swift & sturdy bite from Fido could make mobile phones - and the dog - go splat. It's true. I'm not kidding. The article claims that most of the faulty/exploding phone and notebook batteries are in fact ripoffs, or imitation products, and therefore more prone to structural abnormalities.

When I read that I immediately thought of this recent article about Korean fake designer products.

What's next - exploding Burberry?

roll over, Hayden

**post-edit**

i've grown tired of battling with switchpod (my previously trusty uploader) so i'm in the process of changing to a new one. i'm trying out a new program (mp3 below) so please give it a click and let me know how it works. It works just fine now. Again. I love Switchpod. Again.

Same routine as before: right clicking will bring you downloadable joy! Today's happiness comes in the form of an Icelandic falsetto and tales of puddle-hopping and nosebleeds. This sounds like old Radiohead wrung through bablefish a few times. Or something like that. It's quite nice. Listen for yourself here:
Sigur Ros - hoppipolla.

Also, this blog looks much better with Firefox! go ahead, try it. Mmmmm, mozilla ...

And, for your viewing & reading pleasure. Our anniversary was on Thursday and Mr. Lee, King of Good Ideas, cooked dinner for me and then unceremoniously tossed me into bed for a good night's sleep. It worked - and for about 10 hours I woke up only long enough to nurse an also-sleeping Hayden. She eats in her sleep, the lazy bug, and probably would stay asleep with no food if I left her alone. More on that later but suffice to say: my child is an odd creature. The next morning I found declarations of Love written on the bathroom mirror (in lipstick I never wear) and bunches of flowers decorating the living room (in mason jars I never use). He's a sly charmer, that Mr. Lee.

The next day, because we've been overspending socalizing so much lately, what with Hayden's 100 days fete, my birthday and my father's visit, we decided to just have some cheap fun. I was in favour of driving through the red-light district and heckling the prostitutes but you-know-who thought that was a bad idea. So instead I just got sick (not really!) cancelled my last class because I was sick (really!) and we went out to eat sushi, play pool and taunt middle-school students. It was a lot of fun, and so.much.better than going out to a swish restaurant and being well-behaved and decorous. I really admire women who can do things like walk in heels, re-apply makeup and wear white clothing but I, unfortunately, am not one of those women. I wear flats, Blistex Lip Conditioner and I got married in denim and plaid. Anyway. We had a good time.

And on to Hayden!:

See that picture? See what she can do? No, she did not learn to "roll over". Rather she learned how to *fling* herself around our bed with speed and precision that could rival a professional teleporter. Here she is cooing to herself and obviously not yet cognizant of how close she is to bone-shattering peril*. Depth perception comes later, I gather. Also, she still refuses her bottle and, I swear, she curled her lip and spat venom at the 15 thousand won Avent Sippy Cup I proudly bought home for her to try. No, no, no, no and NO. I can only hope that a) she weans herself sometime before kindergarten and b) scientists will someday be able to explain to me how a 4 month old who sleeps 11 hours a day and snacks lightly can weigh almost 30 pounds. She looks big in that photo because she is. Big.

I was reading Real Simple magazine a few days ago (donated, not bought in Korea) and and this is what they have to say about cyber communications:

"In a recent survey, participants sent and received two groups of email messages - half meant to be sarcastic and the other half meant to be sincere ... Recipients misinterpreted messages' tone 50% of the time. The study, conducted by Nicholas Epley, a behavioral-science professor at the University of Chicago's Graduate School of Business, and Justin Kruger, an experimental psychologist at New York University, also found that senders were sure that their meaning was clear 75% of the time while the recipients had no doubt they had interpreted the messages correctly on average 90% of the time".

Ouch. So, this is relevant because: I know I spend a lot of time writing about Hayden's little infant idiosyncrasies and moaning about her lengthy sleeps, her picky eating, her furry body, her bald head and her sumo-like fat stores but I hope - and I mean I really hope - that it doesn't come across as sounding too insensitive or Roseannesque. Because the truth is ... I look at Hayden about a hundred times a day, and every time I look at her I love her more and more and with an intensity that takes my breath away. Our relations are quite tender and often involve me vowing to slay anyone (with a hot & rusty chopstick) who might try to hurt her or deny her anything that her heart desires. So there. I just wanted to put that out there. :)

Hayden and I bid you a goodnight. More photos, more news, coming soon.

* I was closer than this photo seems to show. I could have caught her if she fell. Honest!

dats de newfie in 'er, see ...

i'm sure that almost everyone who hails (!) from Newfoundland has seen this, but for the people who haven't:

there seems to be some controversy over whether or not this is offensive but ... i don't know ... i'm sort of inclined to think that we (we-humans, not we-newfoundlanders) need to laugh at ourselves more and complain less. but hey, what do i know, really? i've been known to make "baby, the other, other white meat" jokes around Hayden. and she doesn't think it's funny. here she is getting back at me for all my crappy jokes by simply refusing to grow her hair. she still looks good though - since she's pulling all this rebellion whilst wrapped in her (previously posted about) new duds, all lovingly dispatched from her auntie charlotte. take note, fendi and prada, and be afraid.

and also, one of my favourite Korean songs by Lee Sang Eun, a fairly prolific - although not rabidly well-known - singer/songwriter. i have this song listed as "track 13" because that happens to be how i downloaded it. i've tried to find more information on this sweet lady but most of the webpages are in difficult korean - or have broken links. it's a pretty song tho - so take a listen and enjoy.

we're aaaalll about the mellow these days.

Lee Sang Eun - track 13.

B cool

it looks like i should be getting Hayden to take care of my investments for me - but that i need not worry about her future love relations being affected by her blood type. because, you know, i was starting to worry that she might fall in love with a chap (or a chapette) with B blood type. sheesh.

this is just silliness of course, and it's even classified under the "Something Completely Different" category of the newspaper, but the sad thing is that there are some people (older than 14) who really, REALLY believe this. it's a bit frightening.

anyway, this photo of Hayden is the first in a new series we shall be naming: Hayden Models Her New Funky Fall Wardrobe From Auntie Charlotte So Very, Very Far Away in Guelph. thanks sister! we love you.

*mp3 addition: here's a doo-wop diamond for all the sleep deprived people who read my blog. and this includes my big sister - mother to 3, count them, THREE - young lads. i have no idea how she finds the time to breathe, let alone shop for Hayden - but she does - and we do appreciate it so very much.

Tony Allen & The Champs - night owl.

and now i'm off to read my horoscope ... and talk to my magic 8 ball ... about eating for my blood type.

that's a joke, see.

...

derty mout

today i said a bad word. actually i said several of them in long sticky succession and i felt sort of viciously satisfied afterwards. i enunciated carefully and sucked my teeth and narrowed my eyes and everything. it was a delicious verbal slaying and it was aimed directly at my stoopid notebook*, or possibly at blogger, which for some baffling reason lost my original post and would not let me retrieve it. i guess that "last draft save at ..." thingie is just for looks and doesn't actually work . so i cursed like a sailor and it felt good.

until i was nearly blinded by The Look Of Reproach from the endearingly terse mr. lee. he has informed me many times that he doesn't like to hear me cursing an English Blue Streak throughout the South Eastern provinces. he claims it is NOT because i'm a woman but just because it sounds so frightening. he doesn't cope well with the rapid transition from cute to carnivorous. i've witnessed his reaction and it's true - it makes him shake and swallow his adam's apple alot. so, because i am now a mother and a role model and because i love my husband i've been trying to say less "fuck" and more "fudge".

except for today. i really let loose and, i don't know for sure, but the universe seems to be just fine. let me know if your browsers crash. anyway, i have support from others that an occasional well-placed expletive can be worth it's weight in gold. according to Wallace Stegner (and way-back in 1965, as well!):

the sin is not the use
of an obscene word;
it is the use of a loaded word in the wrong place or in the wrong quantity.

Words are not obscene: naming things is a legitimate verbal act. Under the right circumstances any word is proper. But when any sort of word, especially a word hitherto taboo and therefore noticeable, is scattered across a page like chocolate chips through a tollhouse cookie, a real impropriety occurs. The sin is not the use of an "obscene" word; it is the use of a loaded word in the wrong place or in the wrong quantity. It is the sin of false emphasis, which is not a moral but a literary lapse.

of course Mr. Stegner was talking about the written word but i think it applies to most forms of communication. excess is bad; succinct is tasty. it's just too bad i couldn't quote that in korean to mr. lee because i feel my curses were deliberate and well-measured - and therefore justified. but anyway, here i am, chastised but not really repentant, posting again, but this time in shortened form and without full stops or proper-punctuation just to makeupforlosttime:

- Hayden still refuses the bottle, even after multiple nipple changes, and i'm waving the white flag of milky defeat. i teach my classes and then immediately run home for an hour or two to feed her and play with her. i keep milk in the fridge, just in case, but so far she has always opted to fret and whine and wait, rather than give in and take the bottle. i'm hoping she'll eventually relent because i'm not sure how many semesters i can expect to have huge gaps between classes - or how many semesters i can maintain these olympic sprinting sessions. there are two bonuses though. one is that Hayden is delirious with all this dual-parent TLC and spends a great deal of time chortling and braying and beaming like a well-fed, love-sick fool. this in turn makes us laugh - alot - and releases a lot of otherwise pent up stress. because, afterall, swearing is out of the question. the second advantage to all this breast-feeding and speed-walking is that i've shed my pregnancy poundage and am only 7 pounds away from my target "i will stop jiggling when i write on the chalkboard" weight. moooo.

- a few weeks ago i gave a mini-interview to expat interviews about life as a canadian living and working in korea. my spiel doesn't contain any profound revelations about korea or myself - but the website is a good source of anecdotal information about life in a foreign country. i think it's worth taking a glance at - especially for people who are thinking about traveling overseas or for anyone with a pressing need to know the price of accommodations or property in bora-bora or berlin. you never know!

- i've decided to leave my current job at this-here university (it's been three years) and head out for a city with greener pastures and larger accommodations. we The Fusion Family are currently nestled in a tiny one bedroom apartment and while this earthy & organic love den is fine for a family with an infant - i have great dreams of being able to plunk Hayden's wee butt into a bed of her own, hopefully sometime before her first birthday. so, who knows, it may be seoul for us yet. the decision to leave has been made, notice has been given and i'm starting to get excited! Hayden, of course, only cares about the lactation, as you can see from this snapshot. she put her hand down my shirt without any help from me!

and finally, here are two very good songs with some very bad words:

Ani Difranco - untouchable face.
Martha Wainwright - bmfa.

right then. i'll be back in a few days with real news from the korean fastlane and photos from my birssday partay. i'll be turning 30 again - and my father is coming to visit with his digital camera and goodies from canada. oh, tetley, tetley...

*which for some reason people never call laptops anymore