Part 2

So. This time in our lives is hard but of course it's also exciting and amazing. Hayden is learning to talk! And run! And turn on the TV with the remote control - grrr! Every day she does something new that leaves me gaping/gasping in wonder. She truly is a brilliant little firecracker. Details:

She talks. Maaaannnnn, does she talk. English, Korean, and some sort of weird interlanguage we call "Gibberlish". As soon as she wakes up in the morning her first words are "Daddeeeee. Daddy. DAAAADEEEEE!!", and the illustrious Mister, who gets up at the crack of dawn to study, will come running. From my duvet I cry out "angyung angyung" (glasses, glasses) and Hayden will collect my glasses and bring them to me - with a smile.

Then she talks me out of bed: "Mommeee! Umah! Umeeee! Up. Up!". She talks through breakfast: "Wassdat? Whaizzit? Bbang (bread). Cheeze. Juice. Bab (rice). HOT! Nonnonono! Poon (spoon)". If it happens to be a Saturday or Sunday she will talk through our morning ritual of Getting Ready For A Walk: "ka ja, ka ja, ka ja (let's go, let's go, let's go). Shoooooz. Bye bye! KAJA! WHAAAAA! Umah!! SHOOZ!".

She gives a running commentary on the things she sees outside: "HI HI HI! Aaah-nun (hi) Mung mung (doggie!) Wow - baaa!!!! ( wow, a ball!) Bye Bye. Wasizzit? Umeeee? Daddy? HI! Bye bye! Kaja! NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo! WOW!! Wowoooo. Meeeooww. Moooo. Ba ba ba ba. Hahahha. Otteee. Ojinga. Gone! HA! Up up up! EEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!". And so on. Although she can only independently produce about 30 or 35 words she uses them endlessly and tries to imitate everything she hears. It's hilarious and heartwarming. I LOVE listening to her. My baby is learning to talk.

Hayden is developing a real personality and this is also a joy. This is what we can see so far: her previously mentioned tendency to startle easily has evolved into a mild taste for macabre pleasure. Pop up books, spicy food and hide-around-the-corner-and-wait all make her shriek and jump - but always come back laughing for more. For the record, we also try to play pat-a-cake and this-little-piggy with her but she shows much less interest in these activities. She likes to hide under blankets and grab our ankles as we walk past. She yells "BOO" alot. And then laughs like she's the funniest little person in the world.

Kisses. Hayden loves to give kisses and has mastered the subtle art of assessing a context. She kisses good morning and good night, she kisses when she's feeling affectionate, she kisses if she sees a bruise or a cut, she kisses her teddy bear goodnight - and she offers a kiss if she wants something that has been denied to her. Upon hearing "no" (for a piece of chocolate, for example) she will pucker up and bat her eyelashes and try to grab for it a second time. But she will not kiss if she's tired, angry, sad or being seriously denied something. Not that we deny her much.

Except processed sugar and TV. Like most parents, the Mister and I aim to regulate her T.V time because we recognize that too much television can be damaging and/or problematic. I sat up straight and furrowed my brow as I typed that. We believe in Fresh Air and Exercise. But, like alot of other parents who have come before us, we are flummoxed by our protege's ability to get sucked into TV cartoons and we wonder how it came to pass that she recognizes the Pororo Theme Song even from a different room. Or how a TV commercial featuring pink dolls in a mini-house can leave her open-mouthed and wide-eyed. "O, wowwww" she whispered yesterday, and looked at me in awe, when a commercial for something called "Princess House" came on television. "Wow".

"Wow", indeed.

Photo recognition. Since we left Canada in August, I have, by special request, been showing Hayden photos of my mom and my sisters and my step-father while saying their names. She can now recognize their faces and repeat (reasonable versions of) their names. Or so I thought. But. My mom's photo is on our refrigerator so when we go to the kitchen I point at the picture and say "Nanny. Hayden, that's Nanny". And she would smile and nod and say back "Na-nee. Na-neee". Cute as a button. But the other day as we were bypassing the kitchen to make our way to the bathroom, Little Miss Lee spied the fridge - gasped - ran up to it, patted the side of our LG Dios Digital and said "Na-nee. Na-nee". And nodded proudly. The child thinks our fridge is her grandmother. Sorry mom. At least it wasn't a kimchi cooler.

Music. This is something I've not really mentioned before because I don't know how to articulate just how ... special ... Hayden's connection to music is. Kids like music - I get that. But Miss Lee is just spine-shiveringly freaky. She started swaying and moving to music at such a young age that visitors would say "she's not ... dancing to that song, is she?" And eye each other nervously. But she was. And before she could even stand alone she would crawl to the turntable, pull herself up, bang on the top until someone put on a record, and then she would dance.

When we go shopping she lunges at the pianos and will sit contentedly plunking out little ditties. She can play a harmonica - and then switch to a didgeridoo - and then try to mimic a whistle, in rapid succession. And let me tell you - I didn't know what to do with a didgeridoo until she showed me. She hums, she sings, she dances and she stamps her feet to music. One of my friends says that her chest vibrates in D minor. I dunno. She's a mix of Korean and Irish and Martian Disco Dancer so maybe I shouldn't be so surprised. Music lessons will be offered in due time and we just hope keeps the passion for it. Music is good. Good music. And really - videos soon. I promise.

May she never break my heart. This child is a wonder.

MP3: Beth Orton - ooh child
MP3: Au Revoir Simone - pony song
MP3: Blue Scholars- blue school

This may be an unlikely mix - but the last two songs are tunes that Hayden has given her recent stamp of approval to. She also approves of Justin Timberlake's Sexy Back, but I won't break the law by uploading that.

You can thank me later. Enjoy!~

Fusion Family Update. Part One.

This is a two-part FF Update. This first part will either bore you or make you bitter, depending.

My pregnancy was great. After my first trimester's "morning" sickness, I was active and enthusiastic right up until my water broke at 6:20 pm on the night I gave birth. Which happened on my exact due date. I slept well. I did not get stretch marks and I still don't know what sciatic nerve pain is.

But wait. Don't leave in disgust. I'm not finished! My (our) labour and delivery took a stunning 2 hours and 30 minutes, from start to finish. At 6:20 I was frying mushrooms and onions and humming - and at 8:43 I was holding Hayden in my arms. There was no pain medication for me* and - although the rapid delivery was a bit of shock for Hayden the Wee Conehead- everything was just fine. I think I pushed 3 times.

Nope, I'm not done.

After Hayden's swift arrival, for 10 days, I stayed in a lovely aftercare clinic where a riot of nurses and doctors encouraged me to rest, sleep and eat - and they changed her diapers, rocked her and cuddled her while I did those things. I had a private room with a shower, a TV, a mini fridge - and a telephone so I could be notified if she woke up when I wasn't there. They gave me facials and massages.

And then we went home.

Where Hayden cooed and gurgled and was easily soothed and rocked or nursed to sleep and lay for lovely stretches of time in her Fisher Price Vibrating Chair so Mister Lee and I could enjoy dinners together. We had no problems breast-feeding - and in case you don't hate me yet - I lost all my pregnancy weight (exactly 30 pounds) within 2-3 months of her birth.

All of that is "Wally Lamb Trueness", I promise.

Now, I have never said all of these things before. And I haven't said them because a) my mother taught me good manners b) my father taught me to be humble c) my teachers in Good Catholic Schools taught me about punishment for vanity and d) experience has taught me that [generally] people like troubled stories over successful ones. Except in their own lives.

But, I’m telling you now because none of those things matter. It’s too late. Someone, somewhere, noted my internal smugness, my mental strutting and has sent a 17 month old to punish me. Now we're all equal.

Hayden is a non-stop, over-wound Energizer Bunny - on speed -and I have been horribly spoiled up until now. Suddenly, I have a shrieking, running, pulling, grasping, spitting, teething, panting, drooling, laughing, sneezing, climbing, scratching, bath-drinking, story-book eating, bed-time refusing, food-throwing, arm-waving, head-banging, sugar-loving, tantrum-throwing FREAK whose favourite words are "nononononon NO NO NO!!!".

Now, I KNOW (!) that I have been blessed, and every day I thank the Stars for 'giving' me this amazing little person. I would leap in front of a train for her. Sometimes** I lie in bed next to her*** and I get damp eyed and maudlin just thinking about the amazing power of Maternal Love. But I also have dark circles and bags under my eyes and sometimes I can't remember my middle name. Will she ever slow down?? That's a real question for more seasoned parents out there - will she?? Ever? :)

In the second half of this post (check back in a few days!) I will regal you with minute details of all of her wondrous achievements and, also, prove once and for all that she moshes. I have Google video and Melanie Ajumma on my side.

But now - I'm going to take a nap.

Seabear - i sink i swim
Seabear - hands remember


Part Two coming soon. Werd Outte!~

* but there was pain.
** when she's sleeping
*** verrrry quietly

Pity, peas and sugar on top

Ah, there's nothing like a bit of pity and sympathy to make a gal feel better. I really appreciate all the comments I received on my last two posts* - as well as the emails and Facebook messages and phone calls! And visits even! Support and kindness and camaraderie are so very important and they've done alot to help tip the scales back to "chin up" and "pshaw" and "not so bad".

In lieu of a "What I Love About Korea" post (which might seems a tad contrived, right now), I have made a list of "Some Funny Things I Do Now" to illustrate how Korea - oh, Korea - has changed and shaped me. I mentioned in my last post my predilection for epistemology but I didn't mention that in spite of this (or perhaps because of it) I also have a great affection for Wally Lamb and his novel "I Know This Much Is True". I'm fond of that kind of tarnished hopefulness, and it came to mind the other day when I was - of all things - talking to one of my workmates over lunch.

As I chewed a HUGE mouthful of food, while doggedly attempting too expound some point or another, while covering my mouth with the palm of my hand, I caught the look of ... amusement on my friend's face. He delicately assured me that he could wait around until I finished chewing to catch the rest of my tale, and I realized then that Korea, the place that has been my 'home' for almost 10 years, has changed me in so many ways.

Let this be a lesson to me.

Some {god, I hope they're funny} Funny Things I Do Now:

1) Now, when waiting to be served in a store, I stand at the counter next to the person being rung-in, not behind them. Sometimes I even nudge their purchases a little, to make more room for mine.

2) I can put a piece of lettuce the size of a small Frisbee in my mouth.

3) I think it's ok to talk with all that food in my mouth as long as I cover my mouth with my hand.

4) I'm incapable of eating in a restaurant alone. I think it means I have no friends.

5) I say "eomah!" when alarmed and "ieeeeshhh" when disgusted or annoyed.

6) I may not have mastered the full prostrate jaesa bow but when I see my coworkers or acquaintances I automatically do a head bob.
7) I think the idea of wearing shoes inside a dwelling is really disgusting. And carpet is dirty!

8) I now think "One more can fit in that elevator"

9) I now know what that taxi driver is doing by the bushes on the side of the road. So I don't look.

10) Sometimes I sing to myself when walking. And people just smile at me. Sometimes I smile back. But I cover my mouth with my hand.

11) I can sleep with a tissue box (or even a pair of jeans or a rock) as a pillow.

12) Sometimes if I find myself particularly hungry late in the afternoon, I catch myself thinking "did I eat rice today?"

13) When I see women smoking I feel a little shocked.

14) I no longer think that a man wearing a purse and ankle socks is gay. Or even odd.

15) I know what happens in DVD rooms.

16) I like Burberry. A little.

17) I think dog meat is tasty.

(Just kidding)

Of course, in addition to these things Korea has also given me my husband, my daughter, a job, and some of the best moments of my life so far. How could I have forgotten that? So I guess I owe our Land of the Morning Calm a sparkling debt of gratitude. Not just for feeding me so well but for helping to nudge me into adulthood. I should really complain less.

Coming soon: a long over-due Fusion Family update. Will we move to Qatar or will we move to Siberia? Or will we just stay here? And how did Hayden learn to mosh and throat sing?

The Pipettes - why did you stay?
My Morning Jacket - i will sing you songs

Stay tooned for that ...

* I removed them because the negativity was too much. Also, I was afraid that Mister Lee would read them. And divorce me. ;)